do you know what it's like to see the rocketship blast off to space as you stand on the ground, knowing you are the pilot meant to fly it?
i started writing this blog last year, at the beginning of a deep decent into the darkest night, and though I have survived to see the breaking rays of dawn, and experience its warmth enveloping the cold frost of night, i wonder what this waterfall of words on screen contributes in the end?
maybe it's naive to wish for comments or critism on a blog i was too scared to claim ownership of in the past, but i keep looking, thinking, "this will be the day, the moment, someone reads this and...?"
I used to think writing is all i would do- according to "naomi's life goals" written when i was 17, i should have my 2nd published book on its way and have been blissfully married for 2.5 years...
not quite. not now. not even close.
my future remains unknown, although i am not sure it is uncharted. i am discovering there is fine line between despair and discovery, and too often we give up hope when unseen faith is being proven through unseen action yet to be recognized.
There is a throbbing part of me that so greatly desires to be validated through the recognition of myself as a bonafide "writer," yet i know that is not where the MORE in life exists.
I don't know if anyone reads this, and i'm asking myself if i should even continue, yet for the all this thinking... nothing of significance has materilized. i am sitting in the quiet din of chaos as action, voice, diligence, risk... pass me bye
"he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose" J. Elliot
5 comments:
I read it, and I think it's great that you write. Even if only a couple people read it, there's always the chance that someone will and that the words of hope you are spilling will impact them. Just my thoughts. I vote to keep it up.
I agree, just with less words
I read it, and I love it...and who says you have to write for anyone but yourself. I write, no one reads mine, but its okay. It all falls into place when its supposed to. I learned this from you.
where do I find you, I heard, I hope you haven't run from everything, find me, call me...
I just happened upon this blog of yours through a series of links and wanted to say that you have some awesome stuff written in here...and the feeling of wanting to be noted for writing, I know that feeling-know it well. So from one aspiring writer to another, your poems are beautiful...though I'd share a favorite quote with you to.. "I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear." - Joan Dickons and another one.. "I must write it all out, at any cost. Writing is thinking. It is more than living, for it is being conscious of living." -Anne Morrow Lindbergh, I hope those encourage you Naomi, keep writing, sometimes thats all we can do :)
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